There are many cliche's about fear; Fear = "False Evidence Appearing Real", "Fear is the opposite of Love", "The only thing to fear is fear itself". Going to the core and Truth of "fear" is the known fact that a baby fears only two things: loud noises and falling. So we were all babies at the beginning. Comfort from Mother and family were the core of our earliest memory. So how did we learn to fear? Just the way we learn most things, we are taught to fear. Loving parents project their own fears unconsciously on to their children and thus we all learn to fear. Though we may have developed different phobias, the anxiety level of our own fear is directly proportional to that of our parents.
As adults, it is our responsibility to handle our phobias and move forward. The first step is to observe the fear as it happens. As an example, fear of heights may seem irrational if one has never had an accident due to falling from a high place. But that experience is within each of us. Every baby falls. The seconds it takes to hit the ground produces the place of "knowing" resulting in the success of experiencing you are OK and will move forward again. Loud noises as well produce uncertainty and we are concerned until the source is uncovered. The lesson is that fear is a "feeling" that may or may not be rational.
Fear thus can be defined as "unknowing". Taken in steps, each fear can be conquered. The key is in facing the elements of unknowing. Your most important relationship is with yourself and what gives you anxiety defines or frees you. A common fear is that of spiders. In deconstructing the fear, decide on the rational. If you live where there a poisonous spiders, the fear is rational. You must learn to identify where these poisonous pests reside and educate yourself on how to avoid them. Black widow spiders are common in many areas, but rarely show themselves and are easily identified. Common house spiders invoke irrational fear as they are relatively harmless, at most causing a painful bite. Seeing a spider on the wall at night can cause anxiety as you may imagine them crawling around as you sleep. Realizing that the sightings are rare, you can sleep easy knowing you can dispatch the pest to the next life before you sleep or you can stare at it fearing to take action and turn out the light. Choosing the latter reaction, you increase your anxiety and diminish your confidence in handling the situation. If you fall asleep and awaken to a light on and a blank wall where the spider first appeared, your imagination may go into overdrive and your fears will not be quelled until you take action a learn how to stand up to a spider.
Another common fear is that of being alone. This fear stems from a confused relationship with yourself. Building a solid relationship with self must involve daily practice of working through issues that may evoke feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Working through feelings on your own will clarify their origins and enhance confidence as you conquer fear and trust in your ability to disable feelings that bring you downward rather than elevate your mood. The acceptance and understanding of self that working through feelings produces, builds confidence and thus a comforting sense that you are enough as you are ... and "as you are" continuously changes. Growth occurs through progressive change. Fear of being alone will soon disappear as you attract experiences and relationships through centering and accepting the self. Know that all is as it should be right now and dwelling on what you think it should be is counterproductive. Be and accept. Let go of desire as you fill the moments with doing what you enjoy, even if that is nothing for a time. The paradox of knowing self is quietly doing while staying aware and not getting lost in "have to be".
Fear can be framed as a paralytic thought stored in the subconscious which limits, or as a series of challenges that you overcome on your road to self-realization. Again choice and courage are key to a fulfilled and empowered life. Once you put into practice the simple techniques, your habit is one of facing the unknown, therefore building your confidence with knowledge. Successes are achieved with small steps and useful choices become a habit as the results produce feelings of confidence and freedom.
