You are the one in control, but not so much for an absolute outcome. There are too many variables in life for winning all the time and nobody always wins. But you are always in control of how you are handling the obstacles that inevitably show up in life. Obstacles are merely mountains or molehills to sharpen your skills... to make you smarter, better. Acceptance is key in moving over obstacles and speaking to yourself in your adult voice for right solutions to appear.
What to say to your higher self when that demon of doubt or frustration starts to send you into that angry child we all have inside:
*I will find a way around this.
*I will overcome feelings of doubt and fear, as I am better than this.
*That job did not work out, but I know there is something else for me.
*The relationship ended, what can I learn from this.
*I know I deserve to be loved and to love.
*I have a unique gift and nobody is "me-er" than me.
*Whatever the problem, I know I can find or create a solution.
*The more I allow good feelings, the more I will attract what is good for me.
*Life is easy when I go with the flow.
*If I want a happy day, I need to give a smile.
*I know if I do my best, things will work out in ways that I can only imagine and doing
my best, I will leave the details up to the Greater Power.
Empowering words are something you teach yourself when you decide to design your dream life. This kind of self talk becomes a habit and you will see the result. Test yourself with corrective adult self talk when the next stress or struggle seems to show up. Feelings are extremely important. Notice how you are changing the feeling inside to one of sadness, frustration, doubt, anger to acceptance, empowerment, calm and assurance. You are proving to yourself that you have this power of control. As in any discipline, practice is the key and the more you make logical adult self talk a habit, it will overtake you and you will become the master.
Test the process, do not "try" it. This is one of the words to eliminate from your vocabulary. Trying implies failing. Testing and working on a process just shows you how much more you have to learn and also how far you have come. Conscious engagement enables empowerment as you are involved in the process and are accepting of the result. Tell yourself (and others): I will 'work' to finish the project, I will do my best to clear my schedule to make the event. If you "try" to finish or "try" to make the event, you may fail. A powerful difference in the wording.
Expect good results, do not "hope" for things. Hope is not an action word. Eliminate this word from your self talk and general vocabulary. Working toward the result you desire and expecting the best outcome, your chances of the best result are heightened as you are in the moment, engaged and 'in action'.
Should is not a particularly friendly word to adults or children for that matter. How do you feel when somebody, often in general conversation tells you that you "should" take this remedy, see this movie, go to this place. You know very well that you "should" do what you choose to do. So "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" and eliminate this word as a suggestion.
Never and Always are words to avoid as time reveals to us. We want to 'never' compromise ourselves for less than we deserve or 'always' do our best, but perfection is a process and never actualized. We are human.
Just be conscious of when you slip and say: try, hope, should, never and always and you will experience an awakening to a crisper realization of self and other awareness.
As you master your self talk, you will have greater successes and much better communication with others. Self mastery is its own reward and it starts with how you treat and respect yourself and connect with your world as a whole.
"If the sun and moon were ever to doubt, it is likely they would surely go out"
William Blake
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